Summer Blues?

Well, it's almost summer, can you believe it?
Here in the Southwest, the weather has been crazy windy for what seems like the entire spring season. We live in a canyon, so it is windier than the town that we live outside of, but it has been ridiculous!
I spoke to someone in Texas on Monday and she said it has been really windy there too, so who knows what the summer season will bring?  Today oddly enough it is a bit calmer so I am actually sitting in the sun as I write this, I usually at this point at least have a farmer's tan but due to the wind, I am really behind ;)
As the Summer season approaches and many people focus on what they will look like in a swimsuit, my thoughts wander to why this is done? Are we all that concerned about what others will think about how we will look from Memorial Day to Labor Day, and if so, why aren't we more conscious about what we do all year long?
Memorial Day has long been the official kick-off to the summer with watermelons and barbeques, food on the grill and longer hours enjoyed outside, although it is a national holiday and it is marked on every calendar, some people act like it snuck up on them and then they start frantically trying to  diet or starve themselves for that bathing suit they should have gotten just a bit larger.
Why?
Because that is what society seems to put an emphasis on, the outside, not the inside that actually controlls the outside, peculiar I think!
You know from previous posts that I think food is at the core of everything we do as it nourishes us. Think of yourself as an incredibly expensive auto, do you go to the gas station and put regular cheap gas in the tank that may or may not get you down the road, or do you put in premium for the best performance? We need to make those efforts in the way we take care of ourselves and that starts with the food we choose to eat.
As you know, I believe that most of our diseases and physical problems stem from the low-grade foods we stick in our mouths! Some people are in such a hurry they don't have time to eat properly, or some don't want to or even know how to cook. I hear you and I understand what you are saying.
Cooking can be a chore, I understand, do you have a day that you could grill several servings of meat for instance and put it in containers in the refrigerator or freezer for the upcoming week? I freeze leftover meat and pull it out and reheat it with some fresh veggies for a quick meal when I get stuck sometimes. If you really have no time but money, I have seen several items in places like Trader Joes and a store called Sprouts in Arizona that has organic prepackaged things that take little to no time to get on the table.
Organic or at the very least Non-GMO foods will be less harmful to your system. Non-GMO foods are readily available at most stores and you will be healthier for it.
When I was younger we didn't have Organic or Non-GMO products because things were processed much differently than they are today. I had a great metobolizim and could and did eat everything and if it was sweet all the better!  I was a self-described "Sugar Face" I ate it all the time, I even had candy while cooking dinner and now at some point, I may have to pay for it. Here is something that I learned about six years ago, while in school to become a Board Certified Health Coach, that I am really wondering about now, and how it will affect me.
 Cholesterol increases in women after menopause.
Alright men, before you shriek in disgust and leave this blog, remember you may have a mother, grandmother, sister, niece, wife or even daughter who could be affected by this at some point.

Men's risks stay pretty much the same all throughout their lives, yet women are very different.
First off Menopause is described as not having a period for 12 months. Sometimes this time frame is achieved and then the darn thing shows up AGAIN, if that happens the 12-month time frame starts over, BUMMER RIGHT! 

  Many women have menopause completed by their forties or even earlier (and some of us who have been told are "Incredibly Healthy" by our doctors still have not achieved this) At that point it is unclear, but some studies have shown a correlation between estrogen levels dropping and cholesterol levels increasing. 

There is also a thing called Metabolic Syndrome which is a set of symptoms like lipid profiles being out of control, high blood pressure, obesity, abnormal glucose readings.
Wonder why I went down this road? As most of you know from one of my last posts, my husband Wayne had a heart attack. He had two stents put in through his wrist and has been given the all clear by the doctors. The doctors said that this was a hereditary situation and that nothing could have been done. *Cholesterol is in your body and the bad or sticky type starts to build in your early twenties. The fluffy cholesterol is the type that passes through your body with no problem. Do you know what feeds the sticky cholesterol? SUGAR! BREAD, RICE, PASTA,  CEREAL, COOKIES, CANDY, ANY BAKED GOODS WITH FLOUR, IF IT IS PROCESSED IT IS IN IT!!
We are eating fast fun food and in the end not only causing ourselves to not have the summer bodies we want to have but in the long term, we are actually hurting our hearts!
 In Closing, Let's be kind to ourselves and others about the whole summer body thing if you need to go a size up do it, no one ever comes up to you and asks what size your suit is, find one that fits and enjoy your summer. Second and more importantly start making better choices for your body and heart if you need too. I am not the food police and I am not about to tell you what to eat, it's your body and your choice, remember though what you put in your mouth may come out in ways you don't want it to later on.
Have a Great June,
~Toni~

I get asked almost weekly how it is that I am a baker and not overweight? Short story: I don't eat sugary foods all the time, even though I test everything I bake for quality control, I have things as an occasional treat. Long Story: I work my butt off! Shop for the best we can afford, prepare it, eat it, sleep, drink lots of water, exercise, etc.

        

Don't Let Others Define Who You Are By Their Bad Behavior!

Today I want to talk about perception.
What someone else thinks of you and what is really the truth.
I was recently caught up in a ridiculous situation where someone had made a comment on a social media platform and I had made a comment to try and encourage them. Harmless, yet others jumped in and twisted, turned, and started assuming what they wanted.
Now here is the thing, although I believed it to be a statement to encourage, others saw it differently. Am I to be blamed for that?
Well, the way I see it yes, and no. I could have not said anything or private messaged this person and it would have been between us, yet I felt free enough to simply put it out there for others to see, that was my mistake. Now people are talking all kinds of mad crap and I can't stop that. What I can do is remember who I am, what I intended, and that I can't control what others say about me.
I can control who I am, and with whom I choose to spend time with however, and that brings me to the more important part of today's blog.

6/22/85

When I was in my early twenties I was a busy young mom and stepmom. All I could do was try and survive the day, fall into bed and do it again. I found that going to church was a refuge I could get some amazing counsel from.
Now there were two older women who stick out in my mind; Dorothy, I never really spoke to her but the way she kept herself and the way she moved was pure beauty. Quiet and sophisticated is the way I saw her, and in this small town that was something that wasn't seen often, she was just lovely.
Then their was Bonnie.
Bonnie was in my opinion, the most incredible woman I had ever seen.
She was the women's leader and WHAT a woman!
She invested in each and every one of us. She would take the time to talk to you and you felt as though she really cared, truly a virtuous woman who still attended to her husband and family.

For me I needed that mother figure who could teach me how to juggle the struggles of all that I had allowed on my plate, which were many. I had taken my already full plate and had now volunteered for way too many things at the church. People would actually say "Call Toni she will do it."

I remember one particularly difficult time when I had simply stretched myself to thin where Bonnie came and sat down beside me. She said "Toni, have you ever watched a flock of geese? They fly in the shape of a "V". They fly that way so that the leader breaks the air-flow for all the others. They fly that way so there is less resistance, but eventually the leader gets tired and then that goose drops back to the back of the flock and another takes the lead."
I got it, she took that and made it a perfect example for me to understand that I didn't have to do it all. There were others at the church that could take over some, or all of my duties, so I could focus more on my own family and their needs, which had dropped in it's priority.

Why am I telling you all this, it is simple really, there is a scripture in the Bible that paraphrased says
"The older women should be examples of the good life, so the the younger women may learn to love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, and chaste, home-lovers, kind-hearted and willing to adapt themselves to their husbands-- a good advertisement for the Christian faith."
Don't get me wrong, I am totally for girl power, we can get the job done when it needs to be done. Women can kick butt and take names! I started a business!

We should be strong mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally.
"We can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan"(as the old commercial use to say) if we need too, or we can be an incredible support system for our partners who do that.
 I  also believe that we can do it in such a manner to not have people speak ill about us.

Some unhappy people who are not taking care of their own business can be real gossips, destroying others in a moment with their jealousy and lies. Social media has become a breeding ground for this in my opinion. I also believe that social media is a huge time waster. I love kittens and puppies as much as the next person and checking in on old friends, but after that, most of the time spent is on needless and senseless things that I really have little time for, that is where the trouble can begin. I need to focus on the more important things in life, the priorities.  

Sometimes people can see us say or do something that they perceive one way or another that may be wrong. When I was young I could have looked like I was crazy busy, or just crazy, a superwoman, or an unhinged individual. Perception is a tricky thing. Dancing as fast as I could and trying to learn while holding it all together.

Now that I have moved from the young woman, to the older woman, I want to be like Bonnie.
A person who is there for others, but still someone that others can look up too. Approachable without them having to fear I am one of the many who will gossip about them as soon as they are out of ear shot. Someone who is worthy of their time, that I am genuinely interested in what they are going through, and will listen with an open heart.  Someone who minds my own business, is not judgmental, and who has my priorities straight by placing God, Husband and Family first... A virtuous woman.

Virtuous in Wikipedia is defined as:
Virtue (Latin: virtus, Ancient Greek: ἀρετή "arete") is moral excellence. A virtue is a trait or quality that is deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Personal virtues are characteristics valued as promoting collective and individual greatness. In other words, it is a behavior that shows high moral standards. Doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. The opposite of virtue is vice. 

The four classic cardinal virtues in Christianity are temperance, prudence, courage, and justice. Christianity derives the three theological virtues of faith, hope and love (charity) from 1 Corinthians. Together these make up the seven virtues. Buddhism's four brahmavihara ("Divine States") can be regarded as virtues in the European sense. The Japanese Bushidōcode is characterized by up to ten virtues, including rectitude, courage, and benevolence.

I am a big believer in energy. What you send out is what you attract, garbage in garbage out, what goes around comes around, and so on. If we choose to go around and talk about others then we are just like everyone else. Social media, the phone, an email etc. we have become nothing but gossips and people others will love to talk to, and also about, when you are not there.  If we choose to stick to our own business, which is very time consuming and rewarding, then we will attract others with the same frame of mind. People who do not have the time to talk about others because they are busy with their own lives. 

It is your choice, may I suggest we all find a Bonnie, and follow a great lead in how to handle what we have before us? If you choose to be on social media remember, that anything you say can and quite possibly will be held against you, so choose what you do wisely. 

May this be a blessing to all those who read it, ~ Don't Forget To Sparkle~

Toni

Trying to Sparkle Through the Pain

2019 started out kind of crappy for our family. Our beloved little love bug Beans, our grand-kitty crossed the rainbow bridge to Heaven. Unexpected and heart wrenching, we were devastated as we hospiced him for only a few days before he passed. We had Beans for about 11-12 years, our son had him for about 4-6 years 

before we got him.Beans was a dog or a person more than he was an ordinary house cat. He talked all the time. He would tell us when to go to bed, and if you didn't, Wow! He would meow and meow and meow until you did. He would sleep in-between us always touching my husband Wayne and me at all times. He would wake us up, follow us to the shower, scratch on the door if you were in there too long and tell us when to feed he and our other cat. He could open doors, close them when he was told to do so, and come to you on hand signals. He was an amazing friend and confidant. He always wanted to be with you, touching you or right in the middle of what you were doing at all times. As the pictures depict, from greeting you, to napping, wrapping presents,

putting up the Christmas decorations, hugging Wayne while he was getting loved on,  watching my yoga video, or even fighting for my yoga mat while I was still on it, he was our one of a kind. Our hearts were completely shattered. Who knew how his loss would impact us.

Two and a half weeks later my husband Wayne, pictured here with Beans, was getting ready for bed and didn't feel well. Long story short, he had a mild heart attack. You don't have time to react, you can only respond with bare, raw instinct. Wayne didn't want surgery at the first hospital, he said he had no confidence in them and it was his life. So against doctors orders we got in our truck and I drove him about an hour a half away, to a bigger hospital in Tucson. 

I was numb, this is where survival mode kicked in on my part, to just get us there safely and without any more complications.  He had surgery the following morning, Thursday, he was discharged on Friday, and went back to work, light duty on Monday.

I am trying not to be a helicopter wife, but the thought of the potential loss of Wayne was painful and  is terrifying. 

I am trying to be strong, I have been told I need to care for myself or I can't take good care of Wayne, so I am hoping that this blog entry will help with all the hidden emotions I have and can't really show.  

I am so grateful that I have a faith that was never shaken. I do not question, I only praise Him for who I believe has allowed me to have all that I have. Strength comes from within, I had to call upon that and many of my praying friends to help me through this.  These things separately would have been enough, but together is, well, a lot. I will continue to be strong and eventually this will sting less.

This has been needless to say, a tough few weeks and my sparkle is a bit dull. 

I am simply trying to breathe and remember how blessed that I am to have had this life and the amazing people (Beans and Wayne) in it. The privilege of being able to share their lives has been quit the journey of fun and love.

This blog this week is to say: We will face tragedy. It is absolutely fine to feel loss, pain, confusion and sorrow.

 Don't let people get to you that will say things like "It was just a cat" or "He went back to work he is fine" time does march on but there is an aftermath of grief and left over pain, feelings that may need to be released, and you CAN take the time to do that. 

I find time for me on the elliptical machine and weights help me burn up the extra energy I seem to have. I have had an extremely hard time getting back on the yoga mat as I can see, feel, and smell Beans there, it was our thing to do, so I have some emotional work to do with that. 

I am not really talking much to others about these things, because I don't have the energy to repeat the stories over and over. I will... just not right now. I am taking large amounts of CBD Oil to help with the extra anxiety I feel even after the fact. 

TRUTHFULLY,  I'M STILL REELING FROM ALL OF THIS!

 I am still listening to Wayne breathe every night and worrying when he is at work, but I will learn to manage this as time goes by, it's only been six days to this point. I hope that this can help someone else out there, that may be going through a loss, person or animal, and you just needed someone  to say "ITS OKAY TO GRIEVE" any loss is still a loss. Take care of yourself, and know there are others that understand, you will get through the sting and then you can focus on the joy you had when you got to be with them. 

I hope you have a wonderful day, and Thank You For Listening.
 REMEMBER TO BREATHE!
~Toni~